I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.