What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.