What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.