What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.