"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!