What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!