What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
How do you know when a baby koala bear is happy? You’ll see them jump for joey!
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.