Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call an alert ant?
Vigil-ant.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.