What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.