What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.