Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good