What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!