Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you