Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.