Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!