Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.