What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Goat milk?
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!