What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.