Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!