Animal Puns

Animals and puns are two terrific things. Put them together and things get really punny!

Animal Puns

Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"

Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.