How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.