What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.