Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.