The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.