What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!