Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.