I once had my identity stolen by a cement truck driver. It took me ages to track him down, but now I have concrete evidence.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
I watched, horrified as two trucks carrying cheese crashed into each other. De brie was all over the road.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
A mother trucker
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
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