Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
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