I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
Go to BabaMail
