Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
New electric trains will run on conductors.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
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