I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
Hey, Seoul Sister!
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
Go to BabaMail
