I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
Go to BabaMail
