My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
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