A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Go to BabaMail
