Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
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