Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
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