Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?
For God's sake.
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl...
I said I didn't even know he could play.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me
I yelled what the Hellmann?!
Why did the blind man always use paper cups?
He has no need for glasses.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
What do you call a glass dinosaur?
Pyrex.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
What is the national dish of Sweden?
Swedish.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
I was on a flight and I asked for a glass of water. The cabin crew asked “still?” I said “well, I haven’t changed my mind”.
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
A brief Wellington
I didn't get this "World's Greatest Dad" mug for nothing.
It cost $14.99
Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.
What do you call a cat sitting on a platter?
A Platterpuss.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
Why was the jar about to explode?
Cause it was jam-packed!
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist. While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
The Opportunist.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation
I used to be part of a ten pin league. Our team name was 'Bowl Movement'.
A baker fell down the stairs with a platter full of cookies.
As they say, that's the way the cookies crumbled.
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
I came home and found my wife naked, except for a porcelain mug on each breast.
She said she was a t-cup.
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