I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
What do the astronauts put on their lunch toast? Space jam.
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
Why would a cow want to go to space? To see the Milky Way.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
What makes politicians and planets similar?
They both take up space.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
What did the astronaut cook for lunch? An unidentifiable frying object.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Why did the Sun never got into college? Because it already has quite a million degrees!
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
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