If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
How will you have communion in the space if you won’t have mass?
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
What will you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut.
Mooning is very ASStrological
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
How many astronomers will it take to just change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
What’s the suns favorite clothes brand?
Kelvin Klein.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
When NASA will put 20 heads of cattle into the outer space, it will be the 1st herd shot around the entire world.
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
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