I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
When is it appropriate to sleep in a bathtub?
When you're feeling drained.
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Said to my husband I'm going to take a hot tub. He said...
"When are you going to put it back?"
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
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