Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
What do you call a duck that steals soap from the bathtub?
A robber ducky.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
Dialysis is a blood bath.
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn, I asked him 'pasteurized?'
He said 'No, just up to your neck'
Cold showers are the best...
...Once you warm up to them
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
What is it called when you're singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
A soap opera.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect others’ privacy.
What bird is blue and is great at taking a bath?
A scrub jay!
I've seen a meteor shower,
but never seen a meteor take a bath.
Saw a sign for bath plugs. I didn’t know that was electric!
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
Said to my husband I'm going to take a hot tub. He said...
"When are you going to put it back?"
When is it appropriate to sleep in a bathtub?
When you're feeling drained.
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank?
Because they washup on shore.
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
Wife and I returned to find our bathtub overflowing...
I turned to her panicked face, "Oh, dam it"
Why is it a bad idea to give a cat a bath?
It will surely end in a cat-astrophe.
My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath...
But I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
What did the flirty shower head say?
"Every naked person I see turns me on!"
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her a bath. She wasn't content.
I'm so upset, I even used color pencils for this.
I don't understand why Bed Bath & Beyond is considered a non-essential business.
Don't they carry essential oils?
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
Why do people sing in the shower?
Because the audience in the toilet is sh**!
Why do people say "hit the showers"
What did the showers ever do to you?
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
Told my wife I’m going to take a shower.
She said, dn’t take it too far!
Why did the burglar steal a bath? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
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