How many realtors are needed to change a bulb?
Five. One to change, and four others to say they would have done it for a lower price.
What happens when you marry the best real estate agent in town?
He sells you the engagement ring.
A brand new real estate agent walks into a Realtor’s office for their interview. “It says here you quit your last job selling duct tape after only three months,” the Realtor asked. “Why did you quit?” “I just couldn’t stick with it,” they responded.
How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?
They’re all about proper tea.
What type of real estate transactions do dwarves prefer?
Short sales.
What do real estate agents have to be thankful for this year?
Lots.
Did you hear the joke about the roof? I doubt you’d get it. It’s over your head.
My brother is a real estate agent. He greets me with, "Hey bro, house it going?"
What’s a real estate agent’s favorite song?
“For Lease Navidad.”
What is the only similarity between a UFO and an affordable agent?
You usually hear about both but can never ever see one!
Why would a real estate business never close down?
Since it’ll never be out of commission.
What did the realtor reply when I asked if he liked reading real estate magazines?
"Yes, I love reading them but only periodically".
Why do realtors not buy houses near stables?
Because they will always be worried about their next-door neigh-bors!
What did the real estate agent do when her buyer was on a budget?
She asked the listing agent what would be the condominimum offer the owner would take.
I once decided to buy a baseball stadium. But my agent said he could only give me a ballpark estimate!
How do you make a million dollars in real estate?
You start out with two million.
Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license?
Because he wanted to be a secret agent.
What did the real estate agent say to the lady at the bar?
"Ma'am, is your name FHA loan? Because you have most certainly caught my interest."
Why was a realtor amused by solving a house jigsaw puzzle in just five weeks?
The box read for 10-14 years!
What are the three things most important to bats about their local real estate?
Echolocation. Echolocation. Echolocation.
Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
“A Whole Lot Of Love.”
Why do realtors love skateboards?
Because they can flip them whenever they want!
The real estate in my neighborhood has become so expensive that only cats can afford it.
You need nine lives to pay it off.
Why is it so tough to become a real estate attorney?
You always have to deal with battles of wills.
Why was the realtor in counseling?
He couldn’t get closure.
What’s the worst thing about broken elevator puns? They’re not very uplifting.
Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.
Why did the realtor buy his home right beside a porta-potty?
Because it was a leakfront property!
What are sophisticated realtors known for?
Constantly telling you all about proper tea.
What did the realtor say to his wife?
"Speaking with you felt like buying a house for the first time - thrilling and nervous."
I tried bidding on a shopping center in a real estate auction, but someone outbid me at the last minute. I guess the old saying is true…
You can’t win a mall.
We’re having a really difficult time selling our house. We blame it on the neighbors.
They always have the lawn sprinkler on… It’s a source of constant irrigation.
Why did the house make an appointment with the doctor?
It had a window-pane.
Do truckers prefer houses with long-haul ways?
My wife and I went to see a realtor.
“Have you guys considered moving houses?” he asked.
I said, “No, we don’t like caravans.”
Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?
He was a loaner.
You just can’t trust real estate developers.
They’re always busy with plots and schemes.
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