What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
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