Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
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