Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
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