I just won local "Worst Body Odor Contest".
No one else came close.
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
Dad asked if he could borrow my deodorant.
I said "sure, no sweat."
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
The instructions on this stick deodorant said "remove cap and push up bottom"...
I can hardly walk!
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
My friend once used laughing gas as deodorant.
He smelled funny the whole day.
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
What do you call a deodorant that's never happy?
A deodor-rant.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
This lady at the supermarket is staring at me, like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant...
And then put it back on the shelf.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
I accidently sprayed deoderant in my mouth
Now every time I speak I have a weird Axe Scent.
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts
It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne".
Did you hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
The scent of old spies gave him away.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
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