What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
A drummer got a tattoo of a drum kit on himself
It was very cymbalic.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
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