What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
Because she broke the record.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What's better than having roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ....
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
All my neighbours bought the same set of stereos...
When will they stop stereotyping?
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What do you call a Pharaoh playing a trumpet?
Tooting’khamun
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
Why was the piano laughing?
Because I was tickling his ivories
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
All stereos are so typical.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
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