I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
My printer just told me it was joining a band.
Makes sense since it lives to jam.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What did the phone say to the radio when they met for a date?
This is AUXhilarating
What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will.
When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
Hear about the saxophone player who switched from a tenor to a soprano saxophone in the middle of the concert?
The press made quite a big deal out of his sax change.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
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