What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What’s an avocado’s favorite music?
Guac ‘n’ roll.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg bitten off?
Limp Bizkit.
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
I should change my name to Billy and get a job as a radio show presenter.
Then I can finally be a Billy-on-air.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
A friend of mine told me he’d give me a radio that had no batteries. I think it’s a wind-up.
The best gift I ever got was a broken drum...
You can't beat it.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter?
He was shredding the floor.
Follow Beethoven's example. People said he was never going to be a musician because he was deaf. Did he listen to them? Of course not.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
A classical musician bought a Stradivari violin
Now he is quite Baroque.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
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