What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?
A tattoo.
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What should you do if you can't afford a fancy trumpet?
Buy a frugelhorn
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
Go to BabaMail
