What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
Why can't redheads be in blues or jazz bands?
They got no soul.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
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