Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.