I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
You’re my #1 pick.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
"You bake me crazy."
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
Some bunny loves you.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
I always have a souper time with you.
You're one in a melon.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
I always have a ball with you.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
You make miso happy.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I’ll always be running-back to you.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
"Aloe you vera much."
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
I whale-y like you.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
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