What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
"I'm nuts about you."
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
I love you deerly.
I have bean thinking about you.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
You make miso happy.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
You're one in a melon.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
"Aloe you vera much."
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
I cannoli be happy
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
Pugs and kisses.
I like you sow much.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I always have a ball with you.
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
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