Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
I scored when I met you.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
I whale-y like you.
"Yoda one for me."
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
I like you sow much.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
I have bean thinking about you.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
"I lava you."
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
You're my purr-son.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
Your love will always be up to par.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
I get a real kick out of you.
You make miso happy.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
when I’m with you.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
Some bunny loves you.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
"You bake me crazy."
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
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